Am I ready to stop self-harming?
You may think you don't want to stop self-harming, but you should know that most people who think like you actually believe they can't stop, that they won't be able to, that it will be very difficult and that they won't be able to cope; or they haven't thought through the consequences of making a change in their behavior. Any change can be challenging, but it is always possible.
Certainly, stopping cutting, or self-harming in any other way, can be a difficult change , but many young people have achieved it with some support or help. Motivational state will play an important role in carrying out this behavioral change.
How can you avoid self-harm?
Surely, people who do not consider making any changes in their behavior are because they are not aware that they have a problem and think that cutting themselves has no negative consequences, and therefore feel unmotivated to change or may even be motivated not to change. On the other hand, there are people who may be considering the possibility of changing their behavior , but have not yet made a decision. That is, they recognize the pros and cons of the change, but still need to reflect on it more.
If this is your case, and you have doubts about whether you are ready to stop self-harming, it may help to do the following exercise :
Draw a table like the one you see below and fill in the four spaces with all the consequences that come to mind, no matter how absurd, illogical or strange they may seem to you.
| CONSEQUENCES OF SELF-INJURY | ||
|---|---|---|
| POSITIVES | NEGATIVES | |
| In the short term | ||
| Long term | ||
One of the reasons why it can be difficult to stop self-harming is that we are generally more likely to recognize the short-term consequences than the long-term consequences. But what you need to keep in mind are exactly the long-term consequences . If you only focus on the positive short-term consequences, why would you want to stop cutting yourself?
It is easier to recognize the short-term consequences, but in reality what interests us is to keep in mind the long-term consequences.
On the other hand, being clear about the advantages (and not just the disadvantages) can be equally useful to increase your motivation to stop self-harming . To make good use of this table, it is important that it contains everything that is important in your case. Only then will it help you decide whether self-harm is useful in the long term.
You could make a copy of the chart and carry it with you (in your pocket or diary, in your journal or on your mobile phone). That way, the next time you think about cutting yourself or harming yourself in any other way, you can look at the chart and focus on the negative consequences of this behavior.
Learning to treat ourselves well in times of pain
Disadvantages of self-harm and benefits of stopping it
Doing this exercise can help you increase your motivation to stop these behaviors. This table, especially the columns on the right, can also be useful if you want to gauge how difficult it would be to stop self-harming , or even when you are hesitating whether to cut yourself or not, it can help you not to do it. Also, if you have already decided to stop self-harming, and therefore are already motivated, it can also help you maintain that motivation.
Disadvantages of self-injury
To make it useful, make sure you include really important advantages and disadvantages. Here are some of the disadvantages that most young people who cut their hair are able to cite when they are a little more ready to change:
- You can scare or worry the people who love you.
- You may cut yourself more seriously than you originally intended.
- You may end up in the emergency room or require medical care.
- Every time you self-harm, it's harder to control it. It's like an addiction.
- You may have problems with your studies or at work.
- People might distance themselves from you or think badly of you.
- Self-harm can make you feel even worse in the long run.
- Self-harm can cause you more emotional pain in the short term.
- Self-harm does not help you learn new strategies to cope with your problems.
Benefits of stopping self-harm
And if the benefits of stopping cutting don't come to mind easily, these are some of the benefits explained by young people who are committed to stopping or who have already succeeded:
- You won't have to worry about hiding the parts of your body that you've cut. You won't need long pants or shirts in the summer anymore.
- You will feel proud of yourself for resisting self-harm.
- Your ability to tolerate emotions will improve.
- You will have more time and energy to invest in the things that are important to you.
- You will feel more confident in yourself.
- You will have no more scars.
- You will be able to learn other ways to solve your problems and deal with your emotions.
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